


mutually assured destruction

by futuredescending



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Ice Play, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 13:58:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11624985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuredescending/pseuds/futuredescending
Summary: “I’ll let you fuck me right now.” Eggsy starts grinding into his thigh to punctuate that statement, and Harry hates how the primitive part of his brain immediately perks up. “Fuck me until I’m a puddle.”





	mutually assured destruction

**Author's Note:**

> Irredeemable heatwave fucking, inspired by conversations with [ColinFilth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColinFilth/pseuds/ColinFilth).

The heat wave slowly rolls in like high tide, suffocating everything in its path with a thick blanket of humidity and then it simply _sits_ , day and night, simmering like soup until the pavement feels gummy and the shrubs start to wilt.

Every window in Harry’s house has been thrown wide open in some vain attempt at non-existent air circulation. Fans that were manufactured in the 1970s feebly blow tepid air around a six-inch radius. JB spends his days as an unmoving furry slug on the bare wooden floor right in the middle of the busiest foot traffic as if in protest.

Eggsy goes to bed without a stitch on and kicks off the sheets and duvet until they’re nothing but a wrinkled pile at the foot of the bed, too fucking hot to care about modesty. Harry is slightly more prim in choosing to at least wear boxers. Even then, they wake up after a fitful sleep with the flat sheet sticking to their clammy backs, about a good foot apart, because skin on skin contact is nigh intolerable right now.

“Fuck this heat,” Eggsy moans one morning, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Please have Merlin send me on assignment to Siberia today. I beg you.”

“I’d take it myself first if one existed. Until such a miracle transpires: I suffer, you suffer.”

There’s a moment of offended silence. Then: “You bitch.”

“You’re the one who’s bitching,” Harry says, because he’s cranky too. And frustrated, which, at his age, is beyond ridiculous. But Eggsy walking around naked and glistening (sometimes all day if he doesn’t have anywhere to be) is rather distracting, only they’re both too miserable to do a thing about it.

After a moment of inarticulate grumbling, Eggsy peels his arm from his face to look at him from beneath his eyelashes. “Harry.”

Harry sighs. “What.”

“Harry,” Eggsy says again. “We can put in a vacation, Harry. Somewhere more reasonable. Hear Norway’s nice this time of year. Fjords, Harry!”

“No.”

“Harry,” Eggsy says, full on wheedling now.

“We can’t just drop everything to take a last minute vacation. We have responsibilities, Eggsy. Kingsman can’t just suddenly be without two of its agents without significant advanced planning.”  


There’s a shifting on the mattress, and then the full burning heat of Eggsy’s sticky skin is pressed up all against his side. “Come _on_. You know you wanna. _Please_ , Harry.”

“Eggsy.”

“I’ll let you fuck me right now.” Eggsy starts grinding into his thigh to punctuate that statement, and Harry hates how the primitive part of his brain immediately perks up. “Fuck me until I’m a puddle.”

“Hell of a wet spot,” Harry murmurs, feeling himself being rocked side to side by Eggsy still humping his leg. He’d normally take offence to being treated like one of JB’s throw pillows, but it’s the most action he’s had in a week.

“ _Come on_. I’ll make it worth your while.” Somehow, Eggsy manages to make his whining sound like a throaty moan, unpleasantly hot in his ear, a bit rank with morning breath. He’s fully hard now, pressing into Harry’s leg, enviable libido and all, and he’s apparently determined to drag Harry down to hell with him by sneaking a hand into his boxers and curling his fingers around Harry’s cock to swing another vote in his favour.

Harry hisses. Eggsy’s palms are already sweaty; they slide up and down his prick rather wonderfully. Almost too eagerly, his cock begins to harden. Shit.

Harry thinks about how if he were to do this, Merlin would make his life a living hell at least until November. Mysteriously lost forms and reports that he’ll make Harry read through and re-sign, over and over again. Calling him at all hours of the night for false alarms. Sending him to seduce one of the American administration’s cabinet members.

Then again, Harry’s made worse decisions for far less reward. Fuck it. Hopefully. “Fine. But you’re on top and doing all the work. Keep it to the least amount of surface area possible, please.”

“You fucking lazy git,” Eggsy says fondly, but relinquishes Harry’s cock to roll across the bed and fetch the lube. “Have I got to prepare myself too?”

Harry seriously weighs the matter for several moments before reluctantly holding out his hand.

Despite getting his way, Harry can feel Eggsy’s scowl before the half-empty tube is practically chucked at his face. Fortunately, his reflexes are still top-notch and he catches it easily.

Eggsy still hasn’t learned to squeeze from the top. Harry resists sighing again. “Get over here.”

Eggsy inches over Harry on his knees, arse first, backing up like an especially divinely-formed lorry, cheeks jiggling in such an alluring manner that Harry thinks about slapping them. He squeezes them instead, marvelling in their firm fleshiness, before running his thumbs in between the damp crease and parting them to reveal Eggsy’s hole. He skims his thumb over it too and presses in, just a little tease, briefly considering eating Eggsy out for a bit, but the very notion of burying his face into that heat pit is vaguely nightmarish.

“I’m getting thirsty,” Eggsy complains, the little cretin.

Just for that, Harry squeezes a bit of cool lube across his fingers and pushes two into Eggsy at once, causing him to yelp and shove his arse back to swallow down more.

“Dear god, you’re a furnace,” Harry says as he thrusts his fingers into tight, burning heat.

“I’m giving you a hole to fuck, sorry my arse don’t come with air conditioning,” Eggsy grits out. “Shut up and keep fingering me.”

Harry does as he’s told, spreading his fingers inside Eggsy’s hole to widen the tight muscle and loosen it, even slipping in a third finger. Eggsy rocks back against him, head hung between his shoulders, hairs at the nape of his neck darkened with exertion, shining muscles of his back rippling with every rocking movement.

As a reward for presenting Harry with such a pretty picture and not opening his mouth again to ruin it, Harry presses his fingers up and deeper, knowing he’s hit the mark when Eggsy groans and jerks his hips sharply. “ _Yeah_. Right there, fuck. Keep going.”

Harry’s riveted by the way the rim of Eggsy’s hole clings around his fingers every time he draws his them back. It’s marginal effort; Eggsy is young and can come at the drop of a hat. Harry starts to think, maybe, he wouldn’t even mind keeping at this until Eggsy comes all over his stomach and then he can go have a cold shower and be done with it. But as if reading his mind, Eggsy zeroes in on Harry’s half-hard cock and renews his efforts to wank him into full demanding hardness.

“I suffer, you suffer,” Eggsy says, looking over his shoulder smugly.

“ _Shit_.” Harry practically growls and rips his fingers out of Eggsy’s arse, finally submitting unto temptation and giving one cheek a rebuking slap. “Enough. Turn around and sit on my cock.”

“Where’s the romance?” This time, Eggsy mock sighs before reversing his position, shuffling down Harry’s torso and dragging his boxers down to his knees. “Not doing a condom. Gotta launder the sheets anyway. This is gonna be fucking rank. Gimme the lube.”

He makes quick work of giving Harry’s prick a cursory coating before reaching back to guide himself onto it, letting Harry feel every sweltering inch of his body sinking down.

“Oh, fucking hell.” Harry grimaces. Normally, he’d be greeting the heat of Eggsy’s body with any number of superlatives, but now he thinks sticking his dick in an ice bucket may be more refreshing.

“Hey, it ain’t like your knob don’t feel like being fucked by a hot poker right now either.”

Now fully seated, Eggsy shifts around a bit, clenching and unclenching around Harry before lifting himself up a little and then dropping back down again, shifting about some more and trying again until he gasps, getting Harry in at a good angle and then going to town. “Oh. Oh fuck, yeah.”

It’s actually very nice to see Eggsy’s face like this. Cheeks growing flushed, mouth open, eyes glazing over with lust, beads of sweat forming across his forehead, sliding down to pool in the hollow of his throat. His nipples harden and grow rosy. His abdominals flex and tense. His red, dribbling cock bobs with his bouncing rhythm, the underside slapping against Harry’s lower belly obscenely.

The heady scent of sweat and sex and body odour sting Harry’s nostrils. It’s absolutely awful and Harry can’t get enough of it.

The flush spreads from Eggsy’s face down his neck, shoulders, and chest as he relinquishes one hand from where it’s braced on Harry’s chest to stroke himself. But his slick thighs slip against Harry’s sides and cause him to falter, lifting up too fast and too far, causing Harry’s prick to pull free from his arse and seek refuge in the slightly cooler air.

“Shit!” Eggsy goes boneless and collapses on top of Harry, coating him in moist warmth. “Not sure if it’s worth it now. It’s too fucking hot.”

Harry’s heart hammers in his ears, matched only by the burning pulse beating in his cock. Fuck. _Fuck_. He needs to get off. And yet he doesn’t really want to move.

It’s an internal battle being waged for several angry seconds until Harry finally scours the will to roll a squawking Eggsy off him and claw his way out of the bed, shaking off his boxers completely. “I’ve got an idea.”

“What? Where the fuck are you going? Harry!”

Eggsy calls after him, but Harry is already out of the room and down the stairs, startling JB when he almost trips over him on his way to the kitchen. It’s only when he opens the freezer door and is greeted with a blast of icy air that he realises he’s naked, soaked in sweat, and his hard prick is still tacky with lube.

He barely keeps from producing a high-pitched yelp and retrieves his much-sought after prize.

The face Eggsy makes when he returns, bearing them aloft. “Ice lollies? Fucking really?”

“You’re the one who bought such sugary abominations in the first place.” Harry tosses one on the nightstand where it’ll probably melt and leak all over the wood and presses the still wrapped red one against Eggsy’s temple. “Nice, isn’t it?”

Eggsy sighs as his eyes flutter shut, a hint of relief suffusing his tone. “Yeah, alright.”

Harry slides the lolly down to his cheek, then the side of his neck, feeling Eggsy relax a little beneath him. Smirking a little, Harry brings the lolly to his mouth and rips a corner of the plastic open with his teeth to peel back a quarter of it. He gives it a tentative sniff before sucking noisily on the tip. Cherry.

Eggsy opens his eyes and glares up at him. “So, what, should I have a wank while watching you blow that thing?”

“Hush, you tart.” Harry pulls the lolly out of his mouth and holds it in front of Eggsy’s mouth. Just as Eggsy opens his mouth, however, Harry smears it across his lips instead.

“What? Harr—” Eggsy starts, but his protests are swallowed up by Harry darting forward and kissing him, swiping his tongue across Eggsy’s lower lip as saccharine artificial cherry floods his mouth. It tastes better than Eggsy usually does first thing in the morning, at least.

In retaliation, Eggsy moans and slips his tongue past Harry's lips, lapping at the flavour from the roof of his mouth.

Then he cries out and flinches when Harry circles the lolly around his nipple, which Harry quickly soothes away with his tongue in a curious flavour profile of sweet and salty.

“Fuck, this what we’re doing now? Ice play?” Eggsy mutters, barely able to keep from sucking in a sharp breath between his clenched teeth as Harry paints sticky red trails across his chest and quivering stomach, groaning and shifting restlessly when Harry follows each path with his mouth.

As Harry draws lower, Eggsy lifts his head in alarm. “You go anywhere near my cock with that thing, I’m dosing you and shaving off your hair.”

“It would serve you right, you mouthy shit.” Harry pulls down more of the plastic wrapper and takes in a rather impressive amount of the lolly in one go, swirling it around his mouth like a cotton swab. Then, with icy numb lips, he pulls out the lolly and trades it for Eggsy’s cock instead.

“Shit, motherfucking _bastard_!” Eggsy almost kicks Harry in the ribs as his entire body spasms at the onslaught of contradictory sensations, cold and hot, emitting a sharp cry that the entire mews probably hears. His hands fly to Harry’s head and tangle fingers in Harry’s hair, pulling hard and then pushing down like he’s unsure of what he wants. Eventually, Harry’s mouth begins to heat up and Eggsy starts thrusting up lightly, seeking more. “Ohhhh, Harry. _God_. I love your mouth. Come on, yeah. Feels so good.”

Harry lets Eggsy fuck his mouth for a good long while as the lolly melts and drips sticky red fluid down his hand and onto the bed, then gets impatient and chucks the rest of it off to the side as he finally breaks off and taps on Eggsy’s hip, much to Eggsy’s audible displeasure. “Right then, that’s enough of that, I should think. Turn over.”

“Oh, come on.” Eggsy reluctantly rolls onto his stomach, grumbling the whole time. “Are you gonna smother me? Harry, it’s too fucking hot for that.”

“Ah, ah, we had a deal. A gentleman always holds up his end of the bargain.”

“Fuck being a gentleman.”

Harry plasters himself against Eggsy’s warm back, guiding his still slicked up cock between Eggsy’s cheeks and pressing back into him in one easy glide that makes Eggsy’s breath stutter. When every inch of him is enveloped in what feels like fire, Harry shifts over Eggsy, covering him like a blanket and pressing him down into the mattress. His hips slowly rock and fuck into Eggsy at a lazy pace.

“Harry, _Harry_ ,” Eggsy moans, burying his face into the mattress below him. He tries to buck up a bit, but Harry’s got him pinned everywhere, unable to do anything but take Harry’s cock at the speed he wants, sometimes shallow and quick, then deep and sudden, shocking a grunt out of him.

Heat and perspiration build up between their bodies. Harry finds himself slipping along Eggsy’s back, but gravity aids him in his renewed efforts of roughly ploughing into Eggsy from behind.

“Fuck, your cock, Harry. Your fat cock. Fuck me so good.” An uninhibited and unceasing stream of frankly absurd curses and moans seep from Eggsy’s lips, also probably serenading their neighbours through everyone’s open windows. Harry slips his sweet sticky fingers in Eggsy’s mouth to shut him up, lets Eggsy busy his mouth with sucking on and moaning around them instead.

Soon there’s nothing but the rapid creaking of the bed, Harry’s panting, Eggsy’s muffled noises, and the obscene _slapslapslap_ of concentrated fucking until Harry can feel his climax pool in his groin, tighten in his balls, and he rolls them both onto their sides so he can give Eggsy’s neglected cock a few wanks to bring him off too.

As Harry’s orgasm washes over him, searing all his nerves, he feels Eggsy seize and arch against him, barely registers the hot come spurting between his fingers, of Eggsy’s teeth biting into the flesh of his palm covering his mouth.

They lay slumped against each other, chests heaving, gasping, for several minutes in the aftermath in mutual wet suffering before Eggsy slinks a bit across the bed, wincing as Harry’s spent cock slips out of his body.

“Fuck,” Eggsy declares as he miserably flops onto his back. “Fuck, this is disgusting.”

Harry makes a concurring noise, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, though it does little more than smear sweat and lolly sugar across it.

“Fuck,” Eggsy says again. “Why did we think this was a good idea again?”

“ _Your_ idea,” Harry corrects him. “Because you wanted to see Norway.”

“Fjords,” Eggsy intones almost solemnly. “We should shower. And wash the sheets. It fucking stinks in here.” 

“I can’t believe I let you bribe me with sex.” No matter what, he cannot ever tell Merlin about this. He's already going to have trouble meeting his neighbours' eyes. 

“Can’t say I didn’t earn it,” Eggsy singsongs as he abruptly sits up and plucks the other half-melted ice lolly from the nightstand, tearing it open to slurp down its contents with relish. “Ooh, gotta pack!”

Harry gives him the stink eye. Damn his irrepressible youthful energy.

“Hey, look on the bright side,” Eggsy shrugs, then grins, "The shagging will be better in the cold, yeah?”

Harry groans and rolls onto his other side where it’s slightly less sodden with their bodily fluids.


End file.
